Fearless
by Detective Olivia Stabler
Summary: Tragedy strikes the SVU when a series of uncontrollable events leads to the death of one of their own. As the guilt Olivia feels over the loss of a close friend begins to drag her down, Elliot tries to help hold her together. Thriller, drama, EO romance.
1. 1 Taken

_Fearless_

_(Chapter One: Taken)_

It was a mess that had been completely out of her hands from the start, but that didn't keep Olivia from feeling guilty. She was still partially in shock from the events that had taken place that afternoon, it hadn't really sunk in yet. And now as she sat in the floor of the locker room showers fully clothed hoping that somehow the steamy water would wash away not only his blood, but her own guilt. She could feel her world crashing down around her. She had lost her focus for a moment and in that moment she felt her life begin to spiral out of control.

* * *

**TWENTY FOUR HOURS EARLIER**

* * *

"He didn't do this the last time," Elliot said handing her a file across the desk.

They had been working for over two weeks tracking a rapist and serial killer who had claimed the lives of seven women and was still on the loose.

"Maybe he knew this was how we would find him so he changed his M.O." Olivia said rubbing her temples with her fingers.

Her head was pounding and her body aching, it had been a long couple of days and this guy was way ahead of them.

"Serial killers don't change their M.O. Liv, these murders were planned out in detail carefully. He chose each of these women, for a special reason. We figure that out, we'll know what makes him tick."

"Elliot, the only M.O. here is that there is no M.O. We can only pin these three on him because of DNA he left in the victim, we don't even know if the other four are his! I say we arrest him on these three before our statute of limitations times out on them!"

"Trenton Morris has an air tight alibi for the nights two of those women were murdered, Liv. And the third sample, from the Jessie Tate case was contaminated. Not to mention that she, our only victim who actually saw the man's face jumped state before the trial and no one has seen her in years."

Olivia growled in frustration at him and slammed the files down on her desk, "Jessie Tate is not the first rape victim ever to disappear before a trial. Maybe she got spooked. Or maybe she didn't run at all!"

"What are you talking about Liv?" Elliot gave her a blank stare.

"I am talking about the fact that lately all of our victims have been not just raped, but murdered as well. What if Jessie Tate was the first."

She locked her big brown eyes on his and waited for him to catch up to her so that they were at least on the same page. The last few days had really drained the entire department, with all of the extra man hours and no people to work them they had found themselves working eighteen and twenty hour shifts lately.

This, combined with the lack of sleep and the physical demands of the job had them all running on caffeine and adrenaline in an attempt to hold off the shear exhaustion that lie underneath. They were all beginning to find it difficult to focus starting to snap at each other. But they were determine to catch this guy and put him away.

"He didn't start killing them until number four and we are not even sure this one is his. No DNA, different cause of death… she doesn't even match these three," Elliot said spreading out the files of the most recent three victims across his desk.

But Olivia, knew they were his, somehow she could just feel it. She had to find a way to tie this man to these crimes before this entire case fell apart and time ran out. She took a deep breath and closed the file in front of her as she rubbed her tired eyes and poured herself another cup of coffee.

"I don't know, but it is almost two o'clock in the morning and we are running on two day old stale pizza and this shit," Elliot snapped pouring himself another cup as well. "If we are going to continue this, we are going to have to get some real food. I'm starving."

"Food sounds good," Olivia replied as her stomach growled.

"I was thinking Greek. Sound good?"

"Elliot, right now the greasy wrapper from the gyro sounds good."

"Greek, it is." He picked up the phone book and dialed the number. "Liv, the man says they wont deliver. It is after midnight and one of their drivers got robbed last week."

"It's a freakin' police station," Fin said. "You'd think they could feel safe delivering here."

"We could order from Mr. Choo's," Elliot suggested.

"No, it's not a problem. I'll go pick it up," Olivia replied.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it is just across town and I could use the fresh air anyway. And now you really have me wanting a gyro."

"And we had Mr. Choo's last night," Munch announced. "A man can only eat so many noodles," he said patting his stomach.

"Alright," Elliot continued to read their order off to the man over the phone.

"Hey, Liv, how long you been here anyway? Am I mistaken or did I hear Cragen specifically tell you to head home and get some sleep? He didn't want you working on this anymore tonight."

"Twenty eight and a half hours," Olivia replied. "And first of all with the amount of coffee I have consumed to stay awake I wouldn't be able to sleep if I did go home. Second of all, I am not really working on the case, since we are stuck at a dead end. Third of all, I fully intend to be out of here before Cragen returns in the morning, so how is he going to find out?"

"Anything else?"

"Yes. Fourth of all, mind your own business, Munch!"

"Hey, I'm just trying to look out for ya, that's all. I for one happen to enjoy your company."

"Sure you do," she replied. "You just want me to pay for your food. I know how you operate, John Munch," she said poking him in the chest as she grabbed her car keys from her purse and slipped on her jacket. She walked over and filled up her travel mug with coffee and headed toward the elevator. "I'll be back in half an hour."

She exhaled deeply then took a deep breath letting the coffee aroma fill her nose as she pressed the button for the ground level. She fumbled with her car keys as she walked across the parking lot humming a tune to herself trying to find some sort of energy.

A chilly wind began to blow as she heard a rustling sound. Olivia stopped for a moment to listen as the wind began to howl once more. She tipped her head and looked around her certain she heard the faint whisper of her name.

"O-L-I-V-I-A," she heard again softly as a chill shot up her spine.

"Is someone there?" She asked feeling as if someone was watching her every move.

She slipped her hand to her side and unsnapped her holster placing her hand on her service weapon.

"O-L-I-V-I-A," she heard on the icy wind once more as she walked slowly toward the dumpster.

"Hello? Who's there?"

Her heart was pounding a thousand times a minute and she could feel it in her throat. Goose bumps began to appear on her arm as she tightened her grip on the glock she carried at her side.

"Is someone there?" She asked standing only inches from the dumpster.

"BENSON," she heard whispered sharply as a gush of wind rushed her almost taking her breath away.

She looked back at the pile of garbage as the wind blew her hair from her face. Just as she leaned forward a cat screeched and leaped out of the dumpster at her. Olivia screamed and stumbled backward and before she had fully processed what was going on in front of her she had pulled her gun and aimed it at the animal.

She stood for a moment trying to catch her breath and calm herself as she watched the cat scamper off into the night.

"It's a God damned, cat!" She said aloud to herself. "Yeah, Liv. Shoot the cat."

She drew a deep breath and tried to cam herself as she slipped her weapon back into it's place and walked back to her car. She pressed the button on her key ring to disarm her car alarm and unlock the car as she climbed inside.

Half an hour later she returned to the precinct and parked in her usual spot, next to Elliot's car. She picked up the drink carrier full of sodas and placed the bag of carry out containers on top of it. She juggled the pile of food as she pushed the car door shut with her foot and pressed the button to reactivate the alarm.

Olivia walked back across the parking lot as she heard a rustling noise from the dumpster area again. She stopped and focused on it for a moment instantly feeling the hair on her arms stand up once more.

"Kitty, kitty, kitty," she called softly to try and lure the animal from his hiding place. But she saw nothing.

She shrugged and turned to walk back toward the front of the building as she heard her name once more.

"O-L-I-V-I-A B-E-N-S-O-N."

But this time when she turned around, it wasn't a cat that she saw. A man wearing a black mask rushed her. He clamped one hand firmly over her nose and mouth holding a cloth over them until she could barely breathe. Olivia dropped the food and drinks scattering them across the parking lot as she struggled with the man.

He backed up moving her quickly back toward the shadows of the alleyway. Olivia tried to scream. She struggled the best she could, but the man had already tossed her weapon in the parking lot and her eyes and legs were beginning to feel so heavy from the chemical on the cloth. She clawed at him and tried so hard to free herself, but the last thing she remembered was the sound of the panic alarm going off on her car.

* * *

Elliot rubbed his hands over his face as he poured himself another cup of coffee. "Munch, what time is it?"

Munch looked down at his watch, "three fifteen."

"Olivia should be back by now. I wonder what is keeping her," he said pressing the speakerphone button on his desk phone and calling her cell.

"They probably screwed up the order again and she had to wait for them to fix it."

"Still, she should have at least called by now." They sat and listened to the ringing of Olivia's cell phone as they talked.

"Hello?" A man's voice said from the other end of the line.

Elliot looked up at Munch with a strange look as they could hear racket in the background. "Yes, this is Detective Stabler with the NYPD, who am I speaking with?"

"Detective Stabler, this is Officer Kade we got a situation down here in the parking lot."

"A situation? Let me talk to Detective Benson."

"Detective Benson, isn't down here. Just me and two other officers trying to figure out what the hell went on out here."

"What do you mean? Where is Detective Benson? Where did you get her phone?"

"The phone was laying in the parking lot. It was ringing, I just picked it up. We got a mess down here. Take out scattered all over the parking lot and this damn car alarm. They are trying to figure out how to shut it off."

"The car, it is a silver Camry?"

"As a matter of fact it is."

"That's Olivia's car," Elliot said hanging up the phone and rushing down the staircase toward the parking lot.

_**BUM….BUM….BUM…..**_

_**LOL, THERE IS YOUR FIRST TASTE OF MY NEWEST STORY. I KNOW I LEFT YOU WITH SEVERAL QUESTIONS, BUT THEY WILL ALL BE ANSWERED IN TIME, I PROMISE. LIKE IT? HATE IT? HIT THE REVIEW BUTTON AND LET ME KNOW!!! ;0P **_


	2. 2 Desperate

_Fearless_

_(Chapter Two: Desperate)_

Elliot stood watching the crowd of uniformed officers and other detectives that had stepped out and even arrived from other precincts to help try and find Olivia. He stood still barely able to breathe and couldn't even move. People rushed around him gathering evidence and picking up the pieces of the puzzle they needed to reconstruct to find out exactly what had happened to his partner.

Elliot felt a knot rising in the pit of his stomach and could only imagine all of the horrible things some monster could do to Liv if he got a hold of her. She had helped to take so many dangerous murders, child rapists and other criminals off the street and was working on several opened cases as well. Everyone wondered in the back of their minds if this was not a revenge abduction.

He stared, his heart pounding and fear rising inside him as he watched the flashing lights of the police cars from the uniformed officers who were now blocking off the precinct parking lot with crime scene tape. It all seemed so surreal.

"The dogs picked up her scent," a voice said from behind him as Elliot turned to look at a man in uniform.

"Officer Kade. Detective Stabler," Elliot managed to croak out extending his hand to shake the strangers. "I don't know how I have worked here this many years and we have never met."

"I just transferred in a few weeks back from the Brooklyn."

"Oh, well thank you for all of your help with this," Elliot replied unsure what to say to the man.

"We all get pretty jumpy when the victim is one of our own," Officer Kade said looking around at all of the extra help.

Elliot cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head. It killed him that this officer was now referring to Olivia as a victim. But in all honesty, she was. The victim of the monster who had stolen her in the night and now Elliot had to do what ever it took to get her back.

"Umm….you said you had something?" Elliot asked trying to keep focused on the Olivia's case.

"Over here. The dogs picked up her scent at the car, over there it leads over here to where we found the food scattered. It was still there, but one of the rookie K-9's ate everything but the Styrofoam boxes."

The man chuckled for a moment as Elliot stared blankly at him. Officer Kade cleared his throat.

"The collected the containers and a plastic coffee mug from that area to try to see if the perp left any prints on them. The drag marks start there."

"Drag marks?"

"From her shoes. She was wearing high heels."

"You can tell that from the marks on the pavement?"

"Yes. The marks are thin, like the tip of a heel. And we found one of her shoes in the bushes. The dogs followed her scent down the hill and across the street, through some more trees and it comes out into a clearing on the back side of the park. Then the trail is lost. There are some tracks from a van or an SUV. We figure he grabbed her and drugged her here, then dragged her down the path and loaded her into his waiting vehicle. We lifted a few boot prints from the mud and managed to get prints from the get away car as well. They have already been sent to the lab. I told them to contact you if they get anything."

"Thanks," Elliot replied as the man patted him on the shoulder. "We're going to find her. She has every cop in the city searching for her."

Elliot raised his eyes to look at the man as he nodded his head. He pulled his business card from the inside pocket of his suit jacket. "Call me if you hear _anything_."

"Sure thing, Detective Stabler."

Elliot turned and walked back toward the building following the drag marks on the pavement with his eyes as he did.

"He's got her gun, too."

He looked up at John Munch standing in front of him.

"They searched the area and found signs of the struggle. Her remote starter by the dumpster smashed. Probably because she hit the panic button. They found some blood on one of the keys. We're hoping she got a piece of him, before she passed out. If that blood isn't Liv's it is our best evidence. We found her badge, but no gun."

"So he knows she is a cop?"

"Elliot, we don't think this was a random abduction. He grabbed a female detective from a precinct parking lot. He may not have been after Olivia specifically, but he was looking for a cop."

"How do you know that for sure?"

"Why go through all of the trouble to plan it out and risk an abduction from a police station for a civilian? And this isn't the public parking area. They only park squad cars and our personal vehicles back here."

"What about the cameras?" Elliot said pointing to the corner of the building.

"That is another reason we think it was planned. Every camera with a view of this lot went down has been checked and there is nothing on the tapes. Infact you never even see Olivia get into her car and leave."

"They changed the angle of the camera?"

"No. According to those tapes she never left the parking lot."

"That isn't true. She had the food containers when she was abducted. They must have hacked into our system and somehow looped the tape."

"Not a bad idea if you are going to kidnap a cop from the police station parking lot. It was the middle of the night and just about everyone else had gone home. But somehow he knew she was still here."

"You think he already had her picked out?"

"He watched her car, knew her work habits. Watched her leave and either followed her or waited for her to return. He waited for the perfect opportunity. She got out of the car and was alone in the middle of the night. She had her hands full, so it would take her a little longer to fight back. He waited until her guard was down and grabbed her."

"Liv had her keys in her hand and she slashes him with them or stabs them at him as she hit's the panic alarm, but he already has the chloroform over her mouth. She passes out and he takes off with her just before the officers responded to the alarm."

"Now we just have to figure out who would want to take Liv. We have to find her before he hurts her."

"We have half the city looking for her. We're going to get her back, El. No one is going to rest until Olivia is safe at home."

"John, what if this was about revenge? What if this was some rapist or murder she helped put away? He's going to kill her. If we don't find her now, he is going to kill her."

"We're never going to let that happen," Munch said squeezing his shoulder in support. "We wont give up on her."


	3. 3 Wounded

_Fearless_

_(Chapter Three: Wounded)_

Olivia moaned softly as she opened her eyes and the room around her came into focus. She was in the corner of a large room with concrete walls. It appeared to be some kind of ware house. Her hands were bound together and for the moment, she was alone in the room.

A man entered from the next room and knelt beside her.

"I hope the accommodations are not too uncomfortable," he said brushing a bit of dark hair from her eyes.

Olivia pulled away from him when he tried to touch her face and glared into his eyes.

"Aww, now don't be that way," he said pulling her face close to his. "This will all be over soon enough."

Olivia narrowed her eyes and growled at him through her gag.

"I can't hear you, dear. But if you promise to be a good girl, I can take this off so we can talk."

He reached up and untied the gag from her mouth.

"I said fuck off!" she snapped lunging toward him.

He laughed and stared at her. "You're a little firecracker. We are going to have so much fun," he said as he smoothed his hand up her knee.

"What do you want?"

"You already know that. You know me. You have been tracking me almost as long as I have been watching you. I'm a big fan of yours, Olivia."

She stared at him for a moment as she realized she was now face to face with Trenton Morris, the only real suspect in their case.

"You had an alibi."

"Yes. It is amazing the things you can buy if you have enough money."

"You raped and murdered those women."

He stared at her not providing an answer.

"And Jessie Tate?"

"They will never find her. I warned her what would happen if she spoke to the police. But she just didn't listen. She's gone now."

"So, you did kill her," Olivia said softly. "Can't you just tell me where she is? Let us take her home to her family for a proper burial."

"You really think you can save the world, don't you?"

"No, just the innocent victims."

"You cannot possibly save them all."

"But I am willing to try."

He smirked and laughed at her.

Olivia exhaled loudly and turned away from him,

"Don't worry," he said looking at his watch as he paced the floor of the warehouse, "this will all be over soon."

"What are you waiting for?"

"You are not the one I want. Don't get me wrong, you and I are going to have plenty of fun a little later. But the party doesn't start until Detective Stabler has arrived. He is the guest of honor."

"Elliot? He wont come."

"He will. I left him plenty of clues. I practically drew him a map. He will be here. He would never leave his pretty little partner in danger. He will come to your rescue, like he always does."

"Obviously you don't know as much as you think you do."

"I know enough. I know that three nights a week for the last four months Detective Stabler had to work late and couldn't go home. Yet somehow he found the time visit your apartment on each of those nights. You are sleeping with your married partner. He will come."

"He won't," she said curling her kneeling up to her chest. "We had a fight. It is over. It has been for a couple of weeks now. We barely talk anymore and when we do, it is only about work. Whatever _thing_ we had at one point in time, it is gone now. So he wont come."

"I guess we will just have to wait and find out."

"Why do you want him anyway?"

"Oh, I want you too. The two of you have done nothing but get in my way. You have even given credit for some of my girls to someone else."

"If you come back with me we could get that cleared up."

"Nice try detective."

"I'm telling you, he wont come for me."

"No, I put a lot of thought into this. The original plan was to take the wife. Then I noticed all of the _special_ attention he had been paying you. He's not gonna give you up without a fight. He will be here."

Olivia exhaled and curled up against the wall to wait it out. In her heart and in her mind, she knew he would come for her. But part of her really hoped that he wouldn't, because she had no way to warn him about the maniac that was waiting here for him.

* * *

A few hours later Olivia raised her head as she heard a noise across the room. She tried to focus her eyes in the darkness to see what was going on.

"Who's there?" She asked looking around for the man, but not seeing him.

"Liv?" She heard a voice whisper from across the room.

"Yes. I'm here," she replied still unsure of who was speaking to her.

She watched as Munch appeared from the shadows.

"What are you doing here?" She asked looking around for the rest of the clan.

"I had a hunch." He knelt and went to work on the rope binding her hands and feet. "Are you alright?"

"I'm good. But he is crazy. And he really has it out for Elliot. Where is everyone else?"

"I called them, they are on the way."

"How did you find me? I don't even know where I am."

"About half an hour outside the city. In a barn outside a house where Trenton Morris lived as a child."

"You came here alone?"

"It was a hunch. Cragen doesn't authorize us manpower for a hunch. But I couldn't take the chance of leaving you here just because there wasn't anyone free to go with me. Once I realized you were actually here I radioed for back up."

"Cragen is going to kick your ass," she said with a smile. "But I am so glad to see you."

"Let's get the hell out of here," he said helping her to her feet.

"How did you get in?"

"It is the strangest thing. There is a broken window back here."

Olivia laughed. "That is strange."

Just then they heard the door open behind them. Munch hid quickly, but before Olivia could get hidden Trenton Morris grabbed her.

Olivia screamed at him and struggled with him, until he pulled out a gun and held it to her head.

"You want to play, Detective Benson? Do you really want to play?" He asked as he gripped her tighter. "Who is in here? Is that my friend Detective Stabler?"

"I'm afraid not," Munch said stepping out just a bit so the man could see him. "Why don't you let her go and we can talk man to man?"

"Who the hell are you anyway?"

"Detective John Munch. I work with Detective Benson."

"Where is Stabler?"

"I told you he isn't coming," Olivia replied.

"Shut up bitch!" He growled as he grabbed a hand full of her hair and jerked her head back to look at him.

"I'm afraid I can't let you hurt her anymore," Munch said stepping into the light with his gun raised at the man. "Let her go!"

"Go ahead detective. Shoot me. But I am warning you, this gun has a hair trigger. You shoot me and it is liable to blow her head clean off. Is that a chance you are willing to take?"

"Shoot him," Olivia said.

"I thought I told you to shut up," Morris snapped as he pulled at her hair again.

"That's right," Olivia replied. "You have already killed so many innocent women, what is one more?"

"Keep talking bitch! And you wont make it to see your precious Elliot splattered all over the wall."

"Fuck you!" She snapped.

"Maybe later princess," he breathed against her ear.

"I said let her go!" Munch demanded once more stepping closer to the man.

"You and I both know that is not going to happen!" Morris yelled moving his weapon from Olivia to aim it at Munch.

The second he did, Munch fired three shots at the man and Morris fell to the ground. But not before firing his gun twice. The first shot hit Munch in the side of the throat and was just a flesh wound, but the second hit just above his heart.

"Oh my God! John!" Olivia looked back at Morris lying shot on the floor. She kicked his gun out of his reach and ran to John's side. "John, John, can you hear me? God, please answer me," she said applying pressure and trying to stop his blood. But each time his heart pumped more blood came out of the wound.

She looked back up at Trenton Morris laying on the floor groaning and rolling around. She frantically patted down john's pockets until she located his cell phone and called 911.

"911 what is your emergency?"

"I need a bus! I have a police officer here with two serious gunshot wounds. He is bleeding all over the place and I can't make it stop," she sobbed.

"Okay, calm down and tell me what happened."

"My name is Detective Olivia Benson. I was abducted by a suspect, Trenton Morris. Detective John Munch came here to help me and Morris shot him. He was holding me hostage and he shot Munch."

"Detective Benson, I have your location, I tracked it through the cell phone. But I need you to stay on the line with me until help arrives. The man that shot the detective, where is he right now?"

"On the floor."

"Is he shot?" The operator asked as Olivia stared at the man who looked over at her with an evil grin on his face.

"Ma'am?" The woman asked in silence.

She looked back down at Munch and his blood all over her and the floor, then looked back at Morris.

"He's dead," she replied staring into his eyes as she closed the phone disconnecting the call.

Olivia took the gun from John's hand as she walked over to Morris. He stared up at her and laughed.

"You won't do it. You are a bleeding heart. But your friend over there, he is gonna die. He lost too much blood already. I killed your friend and you still cannot pull the trigger."

"Oh, I didn't stop," she replied as she looked back over her shoulder at Munch laying in a pool of blood. "The ambulance is coming for him. But for you, you son of a bitch, it is too late. This is for all of those women you tortured and murdered. And for Detective John Munch." She raised the gun and fired a fourth shot into his heart, to kill him.

She watched with blood all over her and tears in her eyes as Trenton Morris took his last breath, then returned to John's side.

"He's dead," she whispered as she leaned over him placing the gun back into his hand and he stared into her eyes. "Help is on the way, John. Just stay with me."

Olivia pressed down harder on the wound as he placed his hand over hers and closed it. She raised her head to look at the light through the broken window across the room as she began to hear sirens.

"They are almost here," she whispered with tears in her eyes as she held the pressure with one hand and squeezed his hand with the other. "Stay with me, John. Stay with me."


	4. 4 Falling

_**Fearless**_

_**(Chapter Four: Falling)**_

"**It wasn't your fault," she heard Elliot's voice echo for the second time through the thick steam cloud that surrounded her. **

**Olivia looked up at him, but couldn't speak. She had no words.**

"**He broke protocol. He never should have gone in there until back up arrived."**

**She rolled her eyes to look at the bloody redness of the water as it circled the drain.**

"**You can't keep blaming yourself."**

**But she did blame herself. She should have ignored the sounds in the air that night and just gone back into the precinct. She should have fought Morris harder when he grabbed her. She should have disarmed him and she should have protected her friend.**

"**He was shot that killed him nicked his heart, Olivia. There was nothing you could have done. He lost too much blood. He barely had a pulse when the paramedics arrived."**

**This had all gone down because John Munch was trying to protect her. He was trying to save his friend from the monster that had taken her from them. And in the end, he made the ultimate sacrifice and gave his life to save her. Now Olivia had to find a way to survive with the guilt that would forever haunt her.**

**She looked up as his hand extended to her in the steam. She stared at it for a moment, unable to even move. She listened as Elliot turned off the water to the shower and knelt beside her with a towel.**

"**You're in shock," he said looking into her eyes unsure if it was her tears or water from the shower streaming down her face. "We need to get some dry clothes on you before you catch a cold."**

**He took her hands in his and helped her to her feet. He lead her over to the wooden bench in front of the lockers and slowly unbuttoned her blouse, tossing it into the sink behind them. She stepped out of her shoes, staring straight ahead at him as she kicked them aside. **

"**Now these," he said as he unbuttoned her khaki colored slacks. **

**Olivia trembled and her bottom lip quivered for a moment as she stood before him only in her soaked bra and panties. Elliot stepped forward and placed his arms around her unclasping her bra. He placed his hands against the curve of her waist and slid them gently down pushing her panties from her hips.**

"**Olivia," he said softly as he wrapped a towel around her body and pulled her into his arms. He wanted so badly to say something that would make this pain go away for her. But he knew there was nothing. "You should be at home."**

"**I don't want to go home," she whispered staring into him.**

**Elliot took a second towel and rubbed it softly against her face wiping away a bit of blood that was still smeared there. **

"**Let me drive you home."**

"**I'm afraid to be alone," she breathed softly.**

"**So I will stay with you," he said softly brushing a bit of wet hair from her eyes and tucking it behind her ear. "You need to get some rest. That is what the doctor said."**

"**I can't sleep. How can they expect me to sleep?"**

"**He called in a prescription. Nothing heavy. Just a little something to help you rest. We'll pick it up on the way to your apartment."**

"**What about your wife?"**

"**What about Kathy?"**

"**What is she going to say about you sleeping over?"**

"**Liv, there is nothing between us anymore. We are friends and coworkers, that is all. Kathy knows that."**

"**Did she ever know that we were more?"**

"**No. Look, I will call her and she will understand. We both just lost someone close to us. You have been through hell these last few hours and you don't need to be alone."**

"**And she will understand?"**

"**She will be pissy for a while. But she will get over it."**

"**Right," Olivia said softly turning to look at her locker.**

"**Here," Elliot said handing her an NYPD sweat shirt from his locker. "You are quite a bit smaller than me, so I don't have any pants that will fit you."**

"**I have some work out clothes in my gym bag," she said as he opened her locker and pulled out a sports bra and some running pants. "What do I do with those?" Olivia asked looking back at her blood stained clothes in the sink.**

"**I'll throw them out."**

**He walked her out and made her a cup of hot tea, then returned to the locker room to clean up the mess. Olivia sat quietly in her office chair sipping her tea and watching as Cragen cleaned out Munch's desk. **

**He picked up a framed photo from the desk and looked at it for a moment. **

"**Would you like to keep this?" He asked hading it to Olivia.**

**She took the frame from him looking down at the picture. Olivia smiled with tears in her eyes as she traced her fingertip over it. The photograph was one of the two of them after a conference in Boston. It was St. Patrick's Day and Munch had taken her for a tour of his old stomping ground. Olivia wore rows of green beads and had a shamrock painted on one cheek and John had on a silly green hat. They were in a bar that he used to co-own with some buddies and he had spent the evening trying to talk Olivia into going into business with him. They had spent the evening drinking green beer and playing quarters and Olivia had kicked his ass at it. John had placed his arm around her and they were both smiling as they posed for the picture.**

"**Thank you cap," she whispered, trying not to cry again.**

"**None of this was your fault, you know?"**

"**I can't help but feel guilty."**

"**I know. But no one blames you." He watched her eyes as they filled with tears once more. "I am supposed to box up this stuff and send it back to his brother in Boston. But I don't think he will miss that photograph."**

**Olivia looked down at it and smiled again.**

"**I am going to miss him so much."**

"**We all will. He was a good friend, a damn good cop and a part of this family. This is going to take a little while to get over, Liv. You should take some time to heal."**

"**I'm not injured."**

"**Not physically. I'm just saying, I have things taken care of here. So take as long as you need."**

"**How long is that?"**

"**You will know when you are ready to come back. No one can know that but you."**

**Cragen leaned forward and hugged her tight, he had always been like a father to her and treated her like his child.**

"**We are all so very thankful that we didn't lose two good detectives that day."**

"**You ready to go?" Elliot asked from behind her.**

"**Yeah," she said softly forcing a smile.**

**Elliot placed his hand against the small of her back and escorted her toward the elevator the way he used to do when they were secretly together. **

**Back at her apartment Elliot started some dinner while Olivia went to take a shower. Twenty minutes later, Olivia hadn't returned. He turned off the stove and headed down the hall to the bathroom.**

"**Liv?" Elliot said softly knocking on the door as he pushed it open. "Olivia? Are you alright in here?" He listened for a moment and could hear her crying. "Liv?"**

**Elliot pushed back the shower curtain to see her curled up in the back of the bath tub crying.**

"**Hey," he said looking down at her. "Dinner is ready."**

**Olivia looked up at him with tears in her eyes.**

**Elliot took a deep breath and pulled his shirt over his head tossing it onto the bathroom counter. He stepped out of his jeans and tossed them aside as well. He pushed the shower curtain back and stepped into the shower in front of her. **

"**Give me your hand," he said softly helping her to her feet. **

**Elliot turned her around under the hot water and began to shampoo her hair. He placed a bit of her body wash on her shower puff and soaped up her body. He massaged his hands slowly over her shoulders and back to try and remove some of the tension he found there. **

**Elliot backed her up just a bit more until the water poured over her body rinsing away the shampoo and body wash. Olivia stared at him as he smoothed her hair back from her face. She leaned forward and pressed her mouth to his.**

"**Liv," he mumbled as he broke the kiss. Elliot reached beside her and shut the water off. "Dinner is ready."**

**Elliot climbed from the shower and handed her a towel. He wrapped a towel around his waist and grabbed his clothes from the counter moving into the bedroom to dress.**

**Olivia entered the dining room to find the table set with two place settings. Elliot poured them each a glass of her favorite wine and pulled out the chair for her. **

"**This is nice," she said softly as she took a sip from her wine glass.**

"**I wanted to make sure you ate something."**

"**I really appreciate you coming back here with me."**

"**Olivia, I am here for you. I am going to help you through this. But this isn't…."**

**She stared at him for a moment.**

"**I just want us to be clear on this. We're friends. I didn't come back here because I was trying to get into your pants."**

"**I made a mistake. And I'm sorry."**

"**We're better like this, Liv."**

"**Yeah, maybe you're right."**

"**You should eat."**

**She smiled as she stirred her food around with her fork.**

"**Olivia, I care about you. I was so worried about you. I'm still worried about you."**

"**I fine, Elliot. I just…." she exhaled softly. "We lost a really good friend today. A friend who never should have been there in the first place. He came there to help me and now he is dead."**

"**Liv…"**

"**No! He should have left," she said with tears in her eyes. "Once he knew I was there he should have left and came back with help. He never should have…."**

"**Left you alone."**

**Olivia looked up at him.**

"**He would never leave you in there alone. There is no way in hell that any of us would have. And neither would you. If the situation were reversed, you wouldn't have left him either. We're a family. We work together, we live together and we hurt together. No one is ever in this alone. Not you, not me. We're a family."**

"**I had my fingers plugging a hole in his heart. I felt every beat. When the medics got there and loaded him they let me go with him, because I was literally holding his life in my hands. But it wasn't enough. He still died. I felt his heart beat for the last time. That is what I will remember. The feel of John Munch's last heart beat against my fingertips. There was so much blood," she sobbed. "I didn't know what to do. I had no idea where the hell I was or how to make it better. I have never felt so helpless in my life. He looked up at me and his eyes were begging for help. He trusted me."**

"**He loved you. And he knew that you would do everything you possibly could to help him."**

"**I feel like everything I have ever known is crashing down around me. Like my world is spinning out of control and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Like I am in one of those dreams where I just keep falling and falling. Only in my dream, I don't wake up and I never hit bottom. I just keep falling, forever."**

**That night Elliot laid beside her on the bed and watched her sleep. Olivia began to whimper and stir a little. **

"**It's alright now," he whispered. "You're safe."**

**He moved closer to her in the bed and wrapped his arm around her waist. He pulled her tight into his arms and just held her there. He smiled as she sighed and settled once more.**


	5. 5 A Sad Goodbye

_**Fearless**_

_**(Chapter Five: A Sad Goodbye)**_

**She stood tall and still, her hair pinned neatly into place and make up done perfectly, waiting for their signal. Half of New York's finest were lined up in uniform to march in the funeral procession.**

**It looked more like a parade, Olivia thought as she pressed her lips together trying to think of anything but the guilt she was feeling inside over the loss of her dear friend. A dozen police cars from different boroughs, fire trucks and ambulances, even mounted officers on horseback and one horse with no rider being lead by an officer on foot to symbolize the fallen man.**

**A chill shot down her spine as she listened to the drum roll and shrill, yet beautifully bone chilling sound of the bagpipes as they began their song. Olivia drew a deep breath and held it as she turned her eyes to look over at Elliot. Their eyes met only for a moment and he wondered how she was holding up as they began to walk slowly along side the black hearse. **

**Onlookers gathered street side, some placing their hand over their heart and others raising their hand to solute. Complete strangers, who wanted to show their last respects to one of the many slain hero's of New York City. People who knew John Munch solely as a detective killed in the line of duty and some who had no idea who he was at all. **

**A thousand detectives and officers stood in uniform surrounding the grave site. An eerie silence fell upon them as the sound of **_**Amazing Grace **_**being played on bagpipes filled the air. Olivia wasn't sure she was even breathing as she focused her attention on the drum corps playing along with the tune. **

**Her knees were weak and nervous as they trembled beneath her and it took everything she had in her to fight back the tears she knew were about to fall. Not now, not here, she thought. As badly as she wanted to she wouldn't break down at the funeral. That luxury would be held for a more appropriate time and place.**

**Olivia drew a staggered breath as she felt the hair standing up on her arms. Staring straight ahead among the sea of statuesque officers Olivia raised her right hand to her brow, one of many brothers in blue saluting their fallen comrade for the last time. **

* * *

**After the funeral everyone went home to change then met up at the bar down the street from Olivia's apartment, the place where they all used to sit around and drink off the stress of their tough days. And this was a really tough day.**

**Olivia covered the uniform in the plastic garment bag and placed it back into the closet. She slipped into a pair of her favorite jeans and an old sweater. It wasn't very dressy, but right now she needed a little comfort in her life. She slipped on a pair of dressy black boots and a dangly pair of diamond earrings, just enough to make the outfit look classy. Then she grabbed her keys and was on her way out the door.**

**She closed her eyes and drew a deep breath taking in the scent of the place as she entered the room. No doubt the smell of this place would always remind her of John. She walked to their usual table in the back where Cragen and Fin already sat.**

"**There she is," Fin said hugging Olivia and pulling out a chair for her. "Bartender, get the lady a beer."**

"**Actually Fin, I think tonight I prefer something a little harder."**

"**Scotch? Whiskey?"**

"**Jack. On the rocks," she said forcing a smile.**

"**Jack on the rocks," Fin corrected as the bartender nodded. "Make it a double and put it on my tab," he said.**

"**Fin, that really isn't necessary."**

"**Most people would just take the drink and say thank you, Olivia." He smiled as the bartender sat the rock glass down in front of her. **

"**Thank you," she said returning the smile.**

"**This table, all night. It's on me," Fin announced to the bartender.**

"**Did someone call Elliot?" Cragen asked popping a stale pretzel into his mouth.**

"**Yeah, he had to run back to Queens to change and Kathy was giving him some static about coming back here to drink. But he sent me a text a few minutes ago saying he was on his way," Fin answered.**

**Olivia took a drink from her glass as Elliot finally arrived. For two hours they all sat sharing stories of their friend and coworker, John Munch. **

"**They are retiring John's badge number," Cragen announced. "In a couple of months, the city will hold a ceremony in his honor and officially retire his badge. They want us all to be there."**

"**Of course," Elliot said.**

**Olivia grew quiet for a few moments as she stared into her empty glass.**

"**You need another one?" Fin asked.**

"**No, actually I'm kind of tired. I think I am going to head home."**

**She stood and picked up her jacket tossing it over her arm and pulling her keys from her pocket. Elliot watched as she headed for the door.**

**She was out the door and halfway down the block when she heard the voice behind her.**

"**Liv? Let me get you a cab."**

**She turned around to see Elliot standing there.**

"**That really isn't necessary, Elliot. It is only a few more blocks."**

"**At least let me walk with you. It is dark and it isn't safe."**

**Olivia smiled.**

"**I have walked home from this bar a million times and it never bothered you before."**

"**I guess maybe all of this has made me rethink some things. This being one of them. From now on, if you walk I walk."**

**Olivia laughed. The fact that he was being so protective over her was sweet.**

"**Alright. So, Kathy gave you crap about coming here tonight?"**

"**Fin and his big mouth. She's pissed and if I go home with scotch on my breath I am sure that will make things even worse. I'll probably crash at the cribs tonight."**

"**It's because of me."**

"**No, it's because of me." **

**Elliot looked over at her as she smiled.**

"**You?"**

"**Trust issues."**

"**She doesn't trust you?"**

"**It isn't like she has any reason to."**

"**She knows about the affair?"**

**Olivia stopped walking to focus her attention on his response. **

"**She knows. But she doesn't know it was you."**

"**Elliot, that was a long time ago. And it has been over for quite a while now."**

"**Yeah."**

**Olivia took a deep breath as they started walking again.**

"**Why didn't you tell her it was me?"**

"**You know why," he said shooting her a look across his shoulder. "I hoped Kathy could forgive my infidelity if I just told her the truth. But if I told her it was with you, she would try to take you away from me. I would lose my best friend. She would make me choose between you and my family, my kids. I just can't do that." **

"**And she forgave you?"**

"**Yes."**

"**Then why doesn't she trust you? If you fully forgive someone, you should to be able to trust them again."**

**Olivia unlocked the door to her apartment building. **

"**Why don't you come up? I have a guest room and it is a lot more comfortable than the bunks at the cribs."**

**Elliot stared into her pretty brown eyes.**

"**Maybe that is not such a good idea. We have both been drinking and…."**

"**And Kathy doesn't trust you. She would be furious if she found out. I know the drill."**

"**No Liv, I'm not so sure I trust myself," he said leaning against the door frame as she unlocked her apartment not even realizing that he had just followed her all the way up. **

**Elliot stared deep into her eyes and Olivia wished to God that he could just kiss her like they obviously both wanted him to do.**

"**What are you talking about?" She asked as the loneliness in her eyes settles into his soul. **

**Elliot cupped his hand against her cheek as her bottom lip quivered. **

"**I told you, I have been rethinking a lot of things. Including that kiss in your shower the other night."**

**Olivia blinked and her heart pounded so hard she thought it would explode as Elliot leaned in and brushed his nose against hers. He pushed a little closer and just as their lips were about to meet, Olivia mumbled something.**

"**El," she whispered turning her head.**

"**Olivia, I thought you wanted this."**

"**God," she exhaled. "I do."**

"**Then what's wrong?" He asked tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear.**

"**I don't want to be your one night thing, Elliot. I'm in love with you," she said placing his palm against her chest to feel her heart pounding. "I have never loved anyone, the way that I love you."**

"**Liv," he said softly as he brushed his thumb against the fullness of her lips. **

**Elliot closed his arms tight around her and just held her for a moment. He kissed the top of her head, her forehead and down the bridge of her nose until finally his mouth met hers. **

**He backed her slowly down the hall to her bedroom, kissing her the entire way. Olivia stared into his eyes as he pulled the sweater over her head ad began the clothing pile in the floor. Moments later they were both completely naked and he laid her back across the bed to make love to her.**

"**I love you," he said as he stared deep into her eyes and she smiled up at him.**

"**I know this will never be completely right," she said softly. "I'm not sure if my heart doesn't understand or just doesn't care. I love you, too."**

**And just like that, their affair had begun once more.**

**Olivia moaned softly at the sunlight peering at them through her bedroom window. Elliot opened his eyes and gently kissed her bare shoulder. She laughed and turned inward to nestle her forehead against his chest. She looked up at him and smiled.**

"**Good morning beautiful."**

"**Good morning. I know, you have to go, right?"**

"**Maybe not right away. I could call Cragen and take the morning off, spend it here with you. But I have court this afternoon, so I have to go then."**

**Just then Elliot's cell phone began to ring.**

"**It's Kathy," Olivia said tucking the blankets around her. "It is her ring tone."**

**Elliot kissed her, then opened the phone.**

"**Kathy, no, I have to work today. I told you I was just going to crash in the cribs. No. No. I don't know what time I will be home tonight, I will try to make it for dinner. Listen, I have to go. I have court today."**

**Elliot closed his phone and kissed Olivia again.**

"**What do you say we sleep in a little longer, then I will call Cragen and cook you breakfast?"**

"**Okay," she whispered as she kissed him tenderly.**

**Olivia laid her head against his chest and he pulled the blankets up around them.**

"**I love you," she said softly.**

"**I love you too, baby."**


	6. 6 Trouble

_Fearless_

_(Chapter Six: Trouble)_

Olivia stepped off the elevator for her first day back to work since John Munch's death. She took a deep breath and pressed her lips nervously together as she stared ahead at the now empty desk. It had been almost two weeks since his burial and Olivia still hadn't gotten used to the idea of never seeing her friend again. She wasn't sleeping and when she did it was restless. The only time she didn't face horrible nightmares was when she was wrapped up tight in the safety of Elliot's arms.

"Morning Liv," Fin said.

"Good morning," she replied as she laid her stuff down on her desk smiling at the photo of her and Munch on her desk.

"Good to have you back."

"Thanks, Fin. It's really good to be back."

It was a long and trying day at work, but Olivia was sure that going back was the right decision for her. She was ready. Ready to go back and ready to put the past behind her. Feeling guilty now wasn't going to bring her dear friend back. Nothing would ever bring him back.

"Long day," Elliot said as he climbed into the elevator beside her.

"Yeah," Olivia replied exhaling softly.

"You want to grab some dinner?"

"You don't have to rush home?"

"I can make time to have dinner with you. Or a glass of wine, maybe? Something to help you unwind?"

"Really?"

"Yes. Really. I have a few hours that I set aside, just for you."

Olivia smiled as the elevator began to descend to the ground floor. She tipped her head to the side and stared into his eyes as Elliot slipped his arms around her and held her for a moment. She raised her head to stare into his eyes and kissed him tenderly.

"I love you so much," El whispered as he brushed his fingertip across her forehead.

"I love you, too."

They settled for Japanese take out in Olivia's apartment. Elliot lit a few candles in the center of the table to set a romantic glow as Olivia poured their dinner from the little paper boxes out onto plates and set a proper table, including wine.

During dinner they talked about everything and nothing and just enjoyed being alone together.

"I almost forgot. I got you something," Elliot said walking across the room to pull a gift box from the pocket of his suit jacket.

Olivia studied the teal rectangular box as it laid in front of her on the table.

"Well, are you gonna open it?"

"Yes. Of course, I am going to open it," she said smiling up at him. "I was just thinking that this is the first gift that you have gotten for me. You know, while we were a couple."

"Play your cards right and this little teal box could have a few friends."

Olivia laughed.

"Me play my cards right? You are the one who is sneaking around…."

Elliot placed his finger against her mouth and kissed her tenderly.

"I am here with you. This is where I want to be. And for now, right now, this is all I can give you. That doesn't mean that I don't love you."

"I know that."

"Good," he replied kissing the tip of her nose. "Now open it."

"Okay," she said with a soft smile as she began to untie the white ribbon on the box.

She removed the top of the box and laid it on the table as she moved the little piece cotton filler. Elliot watched the smile cross her face as she looked at the necklace inside the box. On a silver chain was a silver pendant. Engraved on the pendant, was one word. _Fearless_.

"Elliot this is so beautiful."

"I was looking through the jewelry case at necklaces….diamonds, crosses, flowers, hearts, even one with a garnet stone that I almost got because it is your birthstone. But when I saw this, I knew it was the one. It spoke to me and what it said described you perfectly. I know that things have been rough on you lately and I have seen the questions in your eyes. Sometimes you wonder if you are strong enough. I know that you are. Olivia, you are the strongest and bravest person that I know. In one word, Fearless."

He raised up the silver chain from the box and she smiled as it dangled in front of her. Olivia raised up her hair and turned for him to fasten it for her.

"It's so beautiful. I am never going to take it off. Thank you baby, I love it."

"I thought you use a little encouragement. Maybe something to remind you that I believe in you. And I support you, no matter what. I will always have your back and I am always going to be here for you, beside you. _You_ can conquer all."

Olivia laughed.

"No pressure or anything."

Elliot kissed her.

"I just know that you have had a hard time over this stuff with John. I know that you blame yourself and you feel guilty. I understand it, but I don't agree with it. This wasn't your fault. And I know that you know that, but sometimes you just need to hear it."

"Yeah," she replied with a smile as Elliot checked his watch.

"You have to go?" She asked trying to hide her disappointment.

"Soon. But not yet. We should finish dinner."

Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him seductively.

"Or we could just skip to desert," she whispered against his lips.

"That….sounds amazing," Elliot laughed as she dragged him down the hall by the hand.

* * *

_**ONE WEEK LATER**_

Olivia tipped her head as she looked at the number as it appeared on her cell phone. What the hell was Kathy doing calling her? She looked around the room for a moment to see where Elliot was, but he was nowhere in sight. She stood and made her way toward the ladies room.

"Hello?" She asked sure this was a mistake and that one of the kids must be trying to reach their father or something.

Olivia held her breath and leaned against the inside of the bathroom door as she waited to hear the voice on the other end of the line.

"Olivia, it's Kathy," she began as a sudden rush of nausea swept over Olivia.

She felt her body go limp and she slid down the door to sit in the floor. Kathy must be on to them.

"Hi Kathy," was all she could manage.

"I know this seems odd, me calling you. You are probably really busy."

"Well, sort of."

"I am sorry to disrupt your work, but I don't have anyone else to talk to."

"Oh, umm…okay. Shoot."

"Actually, I was hoping maybe we could meet for lunch or something."

"Kathy, I really can't."

"Please, Olivia. You are his best friend. You are the only other person in the world who really knows him. I know that you're busy, but I wouldn't be asking you if this weren't extremely important."

"I can't do lunch today, we just got a big case and I am probably going to be stuck in the interview room all afternoon. Maybe some other time?"

"Olivia, please. This can't wait. Can you just meet me somewhere? For a cup of coffee maybe."

Olivia exhaled. She couldn't believe she was actually about to do this.

"Where are you now?" Olivia asked combing her fingers through her hair.

"Central Park. Eli has a play group here on Thursdays."

"I will be there in twenty minutes."

"Thank you. Oh, and Olivia?"

"Yes."

"Don't tell Elliot that you are meeting me, alright?"

"Okay," Olivia replied a little uneasy about the entire arrangement.

She groaned and pulled herself up from the bathroom floor. She checked her reflection in the mirror. This was it, she thought to herself. The big dramatic scene in the movie where the wife and the mistress meet for the first time. She was going to have to face Kathy, whom she could only assume had found out about she and Elliot's affair. There was no way this could be good.

Olivia held her keys in the palm of her hand and slipped away to the elevator. As she climbed into her car, she sent a text to Elliot stating that she had to run an errand and would be back in a little while. She turned off the power on her phone and laid it in the passengers seat as she drove toward Central Park.


	7. 7 Exposed

_**Fearless**_

_**(Chapter Seven: Exposed)**_

**Olivia sat in her car for a few moments watching the children run and play. She watched Kathy as she sat on a bench with some other mothers and tried to think of something to say to justify she and Elliot's actions. There were no reasons or excuses. Everything that someone could assume about an affair was pretty much true in their case.**

**They had never really planned this out, it just sort of happened. Years of pent up sexual curiosity, attraction and frustration had finally gotten the better of them. She tried hard to think back to the very first time they touched, well, really touched. A couple of drinks with friends had provided just the courage they had both needed to take that step that for years that had dared not to take. **

**Kathy had left Elliot. Tired of his long hours and dangerous career. She had packed up her things and the kids and gone to her mother's. At first Olivia wasn't sure Elliot even meant it. Long after their friends had left she and Elliot found themselves sitting alone at a table in the back of the bar. Elliot was upset and wasted and Olivia was pretty tipsy herself. **

**It all started with a kiss. Elliot reached across the table in front of her for the bowl of pretzels catching her eyes with his. They both smiled and laughed at the awkwardness of their position and the next thing she remembered they were kissing. The kisses were strong and passionate and they had both lost complete control over everything around them. **

**An hour later they were back at her place making love for the first time. The last time, they both swore the next morning, though they found it impossible to stay away from each other. **

**A few weeks later Kathy asked Elliot to move back home and he and Olivia agreed that their little fling had to end. And it did. For months. Months that seemed like years. And in those long months, Olivia realized how much she really cared for him. She realized that she had fallen in love with him. She also realized that she was late on her period.**

**One day at work she pulled Elliot aside and explained to her what was going on. That evening after work, Elliot took her to get a pregnancy test and sat with her as she awaited the results.**

**Olivia felt tears rise in her eyes and a knot in her throat when she showed him the test strip. The results were negative. There was no baby. No reason for anyone else to ever know about their short lived union. **

**But as much as this was good news, she felt equally saddened. There was no way that either of them were ready for a child. Not like this. Infact, Olivia wasn't even sure that she wanted kids. At least, not until that moment.**

**Now she sat here in her car about to go in front of her lover's wife and try to defend her actions, knowing very well there was only one way this could end, badly. Her only reason for allowing herself to carry on a relationship with her married partner….she was in love with him. She was in love with Elliot and jealous of Kathy. That was a revelation that hadn't struck her until this very moment. She was jealous of Kathy, because she had everything Olivia secretly wanted. **

**Kathy was married to an amazing man and he was the only one man that Olivia had ever loved. Elliot was an amazing husband and Kathy didn't even appreciate him. Kathy also had his children and the house and the dog. Kathy had the life Olivia never knew she had always wanted. Kathy was living Olivia's dream.**

**Olivia drew a deep breath as she wiped a tear from her cheek. It was time to face up to her actions and she was ready to just get this little meeting out of the way.**

"**Olivia," Kathy said flashing her big fake smile as she stood from the bench. **

**Olivia forced a smile as well, watching as Kathy looked over her shoulder to her friend.**

"**Go ahead," the woman encouraged Kathy. "I can keep an eye on Eli for a little while."**

**Kathy nodded and walked to Olivia's side.**

"**So, coffee?" She asked motioning toward a vender several feet away.**

"**Coffee sounds good."**

**They walked down a jogging path as Kathy asked about work and made small talk.**

"**Work is good Kathy, but I get the feeling that isn't why you asked me to meet you here today."**

"**No. You're right. It isn't." Kathy fidgeted nervously. "I want to talk to you about Elliot."**

**Olivia raised her eyes to look at Kathy over her Styrofoam cup.**

"**Okay."**

"**I need your help. A favor. You are his best friend, Olivia. I know that you don't owe me anything. But I am standing here with you, the other woman in my husbands life to ask you to help me."**

**Olivia felt the huge knot rising in her throat again and wasn't completely sure she wasn't going to vomit right here.**

"**Olivia, I know Elliot is seeing someone."**

"**What?" Olivia gasped as her jaw fell open. **

**She wasn't sure if Kathy honestly didn't realize the truth standing right in front of her or if she was just being coy.**

"**Don't look at me like that. You are with him day and night, every day of his life. There is no way you didn't already know about this other woman." **

**Kathy stared blankly at Olivia. **

"**El and I don't talk much about our personal lives."**

"**So you don't know who she is?"**

**Olivia gazed straight ahead unable to look Kathy in the eye.**

"**Kathy are you sure that he is…"**

"**I know he is. There is not a doubt in my mind. He doesn't come home. And when he does he is distant. We barely speak. He can't even look at me anymore. We haven't made love in months."**

"**Kathy….I…."**

"**I have been through this with him before, Liv. I know Elliot and I know our marriage. He strayed once before and this is exactly the same as it was then."**

"**You want me to talk to him and find out if he is having an affair?"**

"**No. I know he is. What I am asking of you is much more important than that."**

"**What is it?"**

"**I filed for divorce, Olivia. I am going to talk to Elliot tonight over dinner and present him with the papers. I'm tired of fighting for something that is obviously over. We are not the same people we were almost twenty five years ago when we were married. Neither of us are happy. If we were, there wouldn't be a need to seek out affection in other places." Kathy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm seeing someone."**

**Olivia felt as if she had just been punched in the stomach. Everything inside her wanted to take two fists full of blonde hair and shake some sense to this woman. How on Earth would she be married to the most perfect man on the planet and cheat on him!**

"**You asked me here to tell me that you are cheating on Elliot?" Olivia asked. "Kathy, I really think this is a personal matter and I think you need to be talking to Elliot," she snapped as she turned to walk away still pissed that this woman could cheat on her best friend and forgetting for a moment that she was infact cheating **_**with**_** Elliot herself.**

"**Olivia, I need you to convince him to sign the papers. Once he hears what I have to tell him, he wont listen to me anymore. I am in love with someone else. And Elliot doesn't love me anymore. We don't love each other, not the way we used to. He is seeing someone else and she makes him happy. I see the way he smiles and I know he is thinking about her. He deserves that happiness. And so do I. Together, we are miserable. We are holding each other back and trying to cling to the spark of a flame that burned out long ago. All I want is for you as his friend to help him see that this is what is best for both of us."**

"**This thing, with this guy….it's serious?"**

"**I don't know for sure yet. It could be. He is a good guy and I really care about him. Please just talk to Elliot."**

**Olivia stood still for a moment then began to slowly nod her head. As much as this should have been good and exciting news for her relationship with Elliot, she couldn't help but feel a little devastated at what he was about to go through. **

"**Okay," she said softly as she turned and walked back to her car.**

**After court, Elliot and Olivia had the rest of the afternoon off. Elliot followed her back to her apartment for a little couple time before he had to return home to Kathy and the kids. They made love and he just held Olivia in his arms for a while.**

"**Why don't you tell me what is on your mind?" He said softly as he kissed her lips.**

"**Nothing really. Just had a stressful day, I guess."**

"**I figured you would sleep for a few hours while I was here. You usually do. I know you don't sleep well when you are here alone."**

**Olivia smiled. "You're right. I always sleep better when you are here," she said kissing him again.**

"**What was your errand?"**

"**What?"**

"**This morning. You sent me a text and said there was an errand. You were gone for a while. Then you came back and have been so quiet since. Is everything alright?"**

"**Everything is fine."**

"**Good.**

**She stared into the cool blue of his eyes then sat up beside him in the bed.**

"**No, everything isn't fine."**

"**What is going on, sweetheart?" He asked rubbing her back.**

"**I went to talk to Kathy," she said refusing to look at him. "That was my errand."**

"**What?"**

"**Kathy called me this morning and asked me to meet her. She said it was really important and needed to speak with me."**

"**Olivia…."**

"**I figured she had found out about us and was going to confront me."**

"**Did she?"**

"**Not exactly. She knows there is someone else. But she doesn't know it is me."**

"**Great. She called me earlier and said the kids are staying with her sister tonight and she wants us to have dinner together. I'm sure she is gonna want to talk."**

"**She filed for divorce, Elliot. She wants you to meet her for dinner to ask you to sign the papers. She told me that today."**

"**Divorce?"**

"**Yes. And she has been seeing another man. I don't know how long, but she says it could be serious. She wanted me to help convince you to sign the papers."**

**Olivia studied Elliot's face as he tried hard to process everything that was being said. She watched nervously as he began to laugh.**

"**El, this isn't a joke."**

"**No, no. It is a very serious matter. It isn't funny at all. A little ironic, though. Don't you think? My wife calls my girlfriend to ask her to talk me into signing divorce papers because she knows I am cheating on her and she is cheating on me as well. Sounds like something from Jerry Springer."**

**Olivia laughed.**

"**I guess it is a little ironic. But Elliot, what are you going to do?"**

"**I am going to do what is best for both of us. I am going to sign the papers. I'm going to get a lawyer of course and work out an agreement with the kids. But Olivia if this is what she wants….this is what it will take to make us both happy. I don't want to hurt her, I just don't want to be married to her anymore. And now that I know that she wants the divorce, I don't have to feel bad about asking for one. This is perfect."**

"**It is?"**

"**Yes. I don't want to be with Kathy anymore, Liv. I love you. I want to be with you. I am happy for Kathy if she has found someone to care about. This will be a lot easier on she and I and the kids if we can move on and be happy with other people. It is still a little sad, but our marriage has run it's course. And to walk away like this, it is probably the best way that we could. Once this mess is over you and I can finally bring our relationship out into the open. No more sneaking around. I can treat you like my girlfriend and not my mistress."**

"**That will be nice."**

**Elliot kissed her and pulled her back down into his arms.**

"**It will be wonderful." He smiled as he stared into her eyes and combed his fingers through her hair. "Then I can stay here with you whenever you like. No more awful dreams."**

**Olivia smiled.**

"**I love you."**

"**I love you too, honey. What do you say we catch a little nap before I have to go meet her. You look like you could use a little sleep."**

"**You are so right about that. I am exhausted."**

"**Close your pretty eyes, baby. I am right here with you and I will protect you. There is nothing to be afraid of anymore, Liv."**

"**I'm not afraid when you are here. When you are with me all I have is good dreams."**

"**That is the way it should be all of the time."**

**He tightened his arms around her as she closed her eyes and nestled into the safety of his arms for some much needed sleep.**


	8. 8 Night games

**_AUTHOR'S Note: I am sorry it has taken me so long to update. I have just been super busy with school and work and have struggled with update ideas. Also, the only place I have internet access right now is at work and I cannot post updates from there. I will try not to go this long between updates anymore. Thank you all for being so patient with me! This one if for all of my loyal readers, without you guys I would just be writing stories to myself. You all ROCK!_**

**_- Detective Olivia Stabler -_**

_Fearless_

_(Chapter Eight: Night Games)_

Olivia leaned across the bar and picked up her beer bottle. At the other end of the long row of stools sat Elliot still a bit heated from their argument. Although Elliot had agreed to sign his divorce papers, he now seemed to be stalling and slowing down the process. Even worse, every time Olivia tried to talk to him about it he snapped at her or quickly changed the subject. And over the last couple of months they seemed to have become quite the on again, off again couple. Olivia was beginning to feel more than a little underappreciated and she was tired of it.

She loved him. More than anything, she loved him and only him. She had never felt like this with any other man in her life. And she didn't intend to ever again with anyone else as long as she lived. He was the one. Her one. And she had waited too long and come to far to let this all fall apart now.

"This isn't cutting it," she mumbled to herself as she slid onto a barstool an leaned across the bar once more to smile at the attractive twenty-something who was tending bar tonight.

"Hello beautiful," the man said tracing his finger over the top of her hand.

"Hello," she replied with a smile as she stared into his dark eyes.

"What can I do for you, doll?"

"I need something harder," she said studying the muscles of his chest as she pressed her lips together. "Beer just isn't cutting it tonight."

"What are you thinking, baby? Vodka? Whiskey? I have a twenty five year old scotch back here that is amazing."

"Tequila," she said tossing two twenties on the counter. "And keep them coming."

"A lady who knows what she wants."

Olivia watched as he set up the first of her shots.

"Are you even old enough to be in this place?" she asked in a flirty tone.

"I am."

"You look awfully young."

"I'm not that young. What about you? Can I see some ID?"

Olivia smiled a big smile and laughed a little.

"Sure," she replied laying her badge on the bar.

"Detective," he corrected himself as he sat a saucer with lime slices down beside the shot glass and slid the salt shaker her way.

They laughed and talked and flirted as the atmosphere began to get really steamy. All the while Olivia kept an eye on Elliot, who was more than a little jealous of the young hunk who had become the object of her flirtation.

Several shots later, Olivia stood up to make her way toward the ladies room. She stumbled a bit feeling a little woozy, then laughed it off and went on her way. When she returned she ordered another shot.

"Last call," the man said handing her the change.

"Well, you're no fun," she said making a pouty face.

"I think you have had more than enough. Is your boyfriend giving you a lift home or should I call you a cab?"

"Oh, he's not my boyfriend anymore."

"No?"

"No."

"Since when? He was when you came in here tonight?"

"Since he sat over there and I sat over here," she replied with a smile.

"I'll get the number of the taxi service."

"Or you could take me home," she said with a sexy smile as she batted her eyes at him.

"Are you serious about this?"

"Of course I am serious. We could have a lot of fun, you and I."

"Alright," he agreed looking her over once more. "Just let me get rid of these guys and lock up."

Olivia dipped her fingertip in the liquor and ran it around the rim of the glass. She looked up to see the bartender watching her closely as she slipped her fingertip into her mouth and moaned softly. Then she looked up at him with smokey eyes as she took the last shot and chased it with a slice of lime.

"Alright, alright, lights out guys! Everyone out," the bartender announced as the rushed Elliot and three other people from the bar.

"Wait," Elliot protested. "I'm with her. Or….she's with me."

"She will be very well taken care of I assure you," the bartender replied closing the door in his face.

"What the hell?" he asked pressing his face against the window to try to see inside.

He stood up as he heard their voices coming from the hack exit. Elliot rushed back to his car as the bartender pulled out from the alley. He followed the car for several blocks before it turned into the parking lot at Olivia's apartment building.

"She is really gonna go through with it," he mumbled to himself now more worried than ever.

Elliot parked his car across the street and sat there watching the light in her apartment window.

"Shit," he growled as he slumped down in the front seat of his car. "You have really screwed it up this time."

He studied the silhouettes as they embraced each other. And he felt his heart sink in his chest as one shadow appeared to kiss the other, then the lights went out.

"I lost her. I had her. And we were happy, really happy. I love her. God, I love her. I can't believe I have screwed things up this bad."

He exhaled heavily and wrote her name in the fog on the window, then wiped it away.

"Jerk," he scoffed shifting his attention to the window once more.

Inside Olivia's apartment….

"Take your pants off," Olivia demanded.

"Thanks for the offer doll, but you aren't exactly my type."

"Oh no? You into blondes?"

"No ma'am. I like them tall dark and handsome. Like that partner of yours. Are you gonna leave him sitting out there all night?" he asked peering through the blinds at Elliot in his car.

"Yup," she replied handing him a cup of coffee before dropping herself onto the sofa.

"What did he do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Obviously he is being punished for something."

"Right again."

"Olivia, this is harsh. That poor man is sitting out there in the dark thinking that you and I are…you know."

"I know."

"You are so bad."

"He has to learn a lesson."

"I get that. Just make sure that he gets the lesson."

"You think I am being too hard on him?"

"You haven't even told me what he's done."

"It's more what he hasn't done that is the problem. It's a long story."

"It looks like it's gonna be a long night."

Olivia took a drink from her coffee cup as he sat down on the sofa beside her.

"How long have you been together?" he asked.

"We have worked together for over twelve years. And been best friends the entire time. He is the one person I know I can trust no matter what."

"But how long have you been _together_?"

"I'm getting there," she said with a smile. "I think we had both always known there was an attraction between us. And one night, we acted on it. But he was married. _Is_….married."

"Whoa…."

"I know. His wife actually filed the papers a few weeks ago to start the divorce. But for some strange reason, Elliot still has not signed them. At first it was the custody agreement, but they worked that out. There is nothing left to do but sign. He says he loves me and he can't wait for the divorce to be final so we can come forward about our relationship. But if that is the case, then why hasn't he signed the papers yet? She has already let go, there is nothing left to hold onto. I have waited for ever for him and now that his divorce is right around the corner it just feels like he is stalling because, well, maybe he doesn't really want to be with me."

"Have you talked to him about it? Or asked him why he hasn't signed."

"He won't talk to me about it. The more he pulls away the worse I feel about the situation and we always end up arguing. We have a falling out and go our own ways for a few days, then we get back together. This seems to have been the cycle lately."

"I agree that man is fine as hell, honey. But are you sure he is worth all this trouble."

"I know he is. I love him. I have always loved him and I always will. I just can't be with him anymore if he isn't serious enough about me to sign those divorce papers. I wont keep being his thing on the side. I need more than that. I deserve more than that."

"Yes, you do. So where do I come in?"

Olivia laughed and took another sip of coffee.

"He doesn't realize that I have known you for so long."

"For too long."

"Since college," she added. "He doesn't know that the sexy bartender is a dear friend of mine. I just want him to realize just what he has before it really is too late."

"No better way to do that than to let him think some other man has taken his girl."

"Exactly. There is a method to my madness, I swear."

"It has been over two hours. You know he thinks the worst of this. How long are you going to let him sit out there all by himself?"

"Long enough for him to realize that I am not waiting around any longer. If he wants me, he is going to have to move forward."

Olivia walked to the window and looked out from between the blinds.

"You really love this man?"

"With all my heart."

"Then don't torture him too long. You want to scare him, not hurt him. If you wait too long to let him in on our little charade, your plan could backfire and you could chase him off forever."

"I'll tell him tomorrow," she replied walking her guest to toward the door. "Now, take off your pants."

The man rolled his eyes and laughed as he began to undress.

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours," he joked as she unbuttoned her jeans and stepped out of them to stand before him in her tee shirt and bikini underwear.

"Are we ready?" she asked reaching for the door knob.

"Just a moment," he said as he reached up and roughed her hair up with his fingers.

Olivia smiled.

"You want it to be believable, don't you?"

She laughed as she opened the door and threw her arms around his neck backing him onto the stoop.

Elliot sat straight up in the car seat and watched Olivia, dressed only in her tee shirt and panties as she kissed the bartender. The man leaned into her and whispered something into her ear, then she smiled and laughed and he kissed her again. Olivia backed into the apartment once more and closed the door. As the man turned around, Elliot saw him zip up his pants. And just like that, he had lost her.

Elliot wasn't able to sleep that night, so he just drove around thinking. Thinking about Olivia's drunken hook up with another man. Thinking about the way she kissed him in front of her apartment and thinking about that creep putting his hands all over Elliot's girl. Trying not to think about anything that may have happened behind closed doors. The thought of her with another man made him feel sick inside. And as much anger as he felt right now, he knew that it was his own fault for hesitating so long to give her the only one thing she had ever asked him for.

Across town, Olivia laid restless alone in her bed guilt stricken and unable to sleep. As much as she need him to understand how badly this hurt her, she now felt really bad knowing how bad Elliot was probably feeling right about now. She almost picked up the phone to call him, but seeing as it was now after four o'clock in the morning, she felt it was better to wait until morning. She tossed and turned until daylight, then finally passed out.

It was just after nine in the morning when she heard the buzz of her phone to alert her of an awaiting text message. Olivia groaned and scratched her head as she sat up in the bed and reached for the phone.

"Meet me for brunch around eleven. We need to talk. El," she read aloud as she groaned again. "Here we go," she said laying the phone on the night stand and moving to the shower to wash away the smell of day old alcohol.

A little while later she sat at their table at a little outdoor café near the park, sipping espresso while she waited for him to arrive.

"You look like hell," Elliot said sitting down as she looked at him from under her dark glasses.

"I feel like it, too."

"Wouldn't have anything to do with the gallon of tequila you consumed last night, would it?"

Olivia blinked and stared at him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't come here to fight," Elliot said as he cleared his throat.

"Why are we here?"

"I just want to talk. About us. And about last night. About a lot of things."

"Look, El, last night…."

"Wait, please just let me talk. I have something to show you," he said laying an envelope on the table in front of her.

"You signed your divorce papers," she said as she opened the stack of pages.

"I did. And it was something I should have done a long time ago."

"Why did you wait so long, Elliot? You knew how badly I needed this. We needed this. You said yourself that this was a good thing. Then you took two months to sign them."

"It's a big thing, divorce. Bigger than the marriage, itself. It was a big decision that was going to affect a lot of people and I just needed time to think it over."

"You didn't already know that was what you wanted? I thought you said you wanted to be with me? To start a new life with me. This was our new start."

"I knew exactly what I wanted, Olivia. I have known that from the first time I touched you. But life isn't only about what I want. I just needed time to really think about this. To think about how it was going to effect my children. I couldn't just sign the papers because I wanted out so I could be with you. I wanted to know without a doubt that this was what was best for my kids. And it is. Kathy and I have been over for a long time. And we have both found people who make us happy. I think that once the divorce is final and they see that we are okay, the kids will be happy too. Only, I waited too long. And now it's too late."

"Elliot…."

"I have a confession to make," Elliot said cutting her off. "I followed you last night. From the bar. I watched you take the bartender back to your place and…. I know you were with someone else. And I know I have screwed things up pretty badly."

He paused and laid a bunch of flowers on the table in front of her.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I love you more than anything and all I want is a chance to make this right. Olivia, watching you with him last night was a slap in the face. I'm not angry or upset, I would just like a chance to put this all behind us and start all over. A fresh new start. And a chance at a real life together. Please Liv."

"Elliot, I have a little secret of my own," she began as the man from the bar appeared behind her.

"You son of a bitch," Elliot snarled glaring at the man and standing from the table. "Liv, don't do this. Please, don't do this. I love you."

"El," she replied standing between the two men, " I love you, too. But it's my turn to explain. This is Darrin."

"It's not bad enough you spent the night with my girl, but you've gotta come here too? I can't believe this shit. What do you want, Olivia? Tell me, do I even stand a chance?"

"You are what I want."

"Then how could you just pick up some stranger in a bar?"

"He isn't a stranger. I have known Darrin since college. We were good friends and I hadn't seen him in a long time. Not until last night, when we walked into his bar."

"I could do without the details of your little reunion."

"El, it's not what you think."

Elliot groaned and smoothed his hands over his face.

"Nothing happened," Darrin injected, somehow thinking he was helping the situation.

"Nothing happened? You spent two hours in her apartment in the dark. Then appear on the doorstep half naked for a passionate kiss goodnight and nothing happened."

"It's the truth," Olivia replied.

"Listen to her. We drank coffee and talked, that's it. I swear to you, man. I didn't go anything with your girl."

"Because she shot you down?" Elliot snapped in a snide voice.

"Lets just say Olivia isn't really my type."

"Not your type? You must be blind. Look at her. The is smart and beautiful and funny and sexy as hell. What man in his right mind would say she is _not his type_?" Elliot asked defensively.

"A gay man," Darrin answered and Elliot suddenly understood the situation.

"You are gay?" he asked as Darrin nodded. "He's gay," he noted turning to look at Olivia.

"He is," she agreed. "And I am not his type."

"We are friends," Darrin clarified. "Nothing more. Never have been, never will be. I assure you, you have nothing to worry about with me."

"This whole thing was a set up?" Elliot asked.

"It was. I was hurt and I wanted to teach you a lesson. It was stupid and I'm sorry."

"I think I'll leave you two to talk," Darrin said excusing himself. "Olivia, it was so good to see you again. You should come in again sometime and we can all have a drink together," he suggested. "Elliot, it was nice to meet you," he said shaking Elliot's hand. "Now I understand why she was so desperate to get your attention. She is a very lucky lady," he said looking Elliot over.

"Thanks. I think."

They watched as Darrin disappeared into the crowd.

"We should talk about this," Elliot suggested.

"I just felt like you were stalling. Like maybe you were hesitating because you had changed your mind about being with me. I thought maybe if I could make you see that another man would want me, I could make you still want me too."

"That's absurd."

"I know. It was a stupid thing to do."

"It was. But I am talking about you getting this crazy thought in your head about me not wanting you anymore. Olivia, I love you. We are going to have our differences and we are gonna argue, but don't ever think that means that I don't love you and I don't want to be with you. Because it just isn't so."

"We have just been so iffy lately I wasn't sure what to think."

"Iffy?"

"We fight and we break it off. Then we're together again, then we're not. It's hard to know where we stand sometimes."

"Whoa! First of all I never though that we had broken up or that we were ever off."

"What? After our fights you left."

"We argued. We both stated our points and we had disagreements. I went home to give us both some time to thing things through. Then a day or so later when we were calm and we'd had time to think it over, I came back so we could work through our issues. That's not breaking up, Olivia. That is learning how to work things through as a couple in order to stay together. There was never even a fragment of a second that I didn't care or didn't want to be with you. That's why it was such a shock to see you leave the bar with another man last night. We argued, but I didn't realize you thought that we'd broken up."

"Oh my. Obviously we have had a lack of communication here. Elliot, I am so sorry."

"So am I, sweetheart. I never meant to make you feel unwanted or unloved. Do you want to know why I took so long to sign those papers? Come with me and I'll show you," he said tossing a tip onto the table and leading her to his car.

Across town he pulled into the parking area of new apartment building in town. He opened the car door and they took the elevator to the fourth floor. Elliot stepped off the elevator and walked down the hall.

"I have been curious about this building since they finished it a few months ago," she said looking at the décor. "This place is nice."

"This place is mine," Elliot said handing her the key to apartment 412.

Olivia tipped her head to stare into his eyes.

"I gave Kathy the house in Queens," he said as they walked into the brand new unit. "That is what took so long with the papers. I decided to move out and let her keep the house. That is the only home our kids have ever known. They have grown up there and this way they can stay in their schools with their friends. It is a small thing that could make the blow of the divorce a little easier on them. But I had to have the house appraised and new papers drawn up. It took a little time. And this way I know exactly where my kids are whenever I want to see them and I am close whenever they need me."

Olivia smiled and stepped in to hug him as Elliot kissed the top of her head.

"You could have told me," she said with a smile as he kissed her tenderly.

"I figured you were probably getting tired of hearing about my divorce."

"Sometimes I do feel that way," she confessed. "But this is a big thing in your life and it is important in the life that we plan together."

"Very true. Maybe we do need to communicate more….and more clearly."

Olivia smiled as she looked around them.

"So why don't you show me around your brand new apartment?"

"I'd love to," he said taking her by the hand and leading her through. "This condo has four bedrooms and three bathrooms."

Olivia laughed.

"It's huge!"

"I wanted something big enough the kids could come and stay. If I am buying a new place it is important to buy something that is big enough for the entire family. I figured put the boys in here," he said opening the door to the first bedroom. "And give the girls the bigger bedroom with the bathroom across the hall."

"You don't want the bedroom with the bathroom?" she asked a bit shocked that he would give up the master bedroom to the kids.

Elliot smiled and laughed a bit as he backed his way down the hall and motioned for her to follow him.

"The third bedroom….office or spare bedroom is up here," he said as they topped the staircase and entered a large den area.

Olivia followed him to a small room on the left.

"This is so nice, El."

"You haven't seen the best part, yet."

He locked his fingers in hers and lead her across the den area once more to see the fourth and final bedroom.

"This is the master bedroom. A large open area here. And the full bathroom in here," he said as her fingertips danced along the edge of the garden tub. "Wall to wall walk in closets," he pointed out as she opened the door.

"This is amazing! Your closet is bigger than my bedroom," she joked. "You don't even have enough clothes to fill one of these, let alone two."

"I don't," he agreed. "But you do," he said tilting her chin so he could stare into her eyes. "Move in with me."

She blinked and looked at him in disbelief.

"What?"

"I have put a lot of thought into this. And from the moment I stepped into this place I couldn't imagine myself living here without you. I love you. I have always loved you. And I want this new place to be our new place. The first chapter of our new life together."

"What is Kathy going to think about this?"

"She thinks it's a great idea," Elliot said with a smile.

"You told her about us?"

"Come on, Liv. I didn't tell her anything she didn't already know. We are trying this new thing where we are going to be honest to each other. There is no point in making things more difficult than they already have to be. She knows how much I care about you. She said that we make sense together."

"We do? You and I?"

"Yes."

"Your wife said that you and I make sense together?"

"My soon to be ex-wife, yes."

"Huh?" Olivia thought aloud. "I figured she would be pissed off and go crazy coming after me with a butcher knife or something like that."

Elliot smiled.

"We both cheated, Olivia. I can be pissed at her and she can be pissed at me, but there is no point at passing the blame when we are both just as guilty as the other. Kathy isn't mad and she doesn't hate you. We have chosen to be civil about this arrangement. And so far so good. We want to try to stay friends, it is healthier for the children that way."

"Yeah," she agreed. "Just most couples are not actually able to do that."

"Well, we are going to give it one hell of a try. This divorce provides a new start for the both of us. She wants to go back to work and has gotten a job at that new hospital downtown. And I have my new life with you."

"I want this, Elliot. I really do. And the condo is absolutely beautiful. But what I don't know the first thing about kids. What if they don't like me? What if I am bad for your children?"

"They know you already and they adore you."

"As your partner, not as your live in girlfriend. And the girls are old enough to put two and two together and realize that I am the harlot that broke up their parents marriage."

Elliot laughed.

"You are not a harlot and you didn't break up any marriage. Kathy and I were over. We just didn't want to admit it. And all of the kids are old enough to see that you make me happy. And I know that they will accept you. Once they see how happy you make dear old dad and what a kind and loving person you are, they will love you too."

"You really think so?"

"I know so. I love you, sweetheart. Please move in with me. This house just wouldn't be a home same without you."

Olivia smiled.

"I would love to.

Elliot hugged her and kissed her tenderly.

"I will even let you have the bigger closet," he added to sweeten the deal.

Olivia laughed.

"How on earth can you afford this place? Don't you still have a mortgage on the house?"

"We got that house right after Maureen was born. And the second mortgage I took out to pay for a new car and Kathleen's braces, will be paid off in six months. Kathy and I agreed that I would pay the house payment and child support on the youngest three kids and there would be no alimony. Her lawyer almost had a fit. But since the first mortgage was paid off a few years back the payment dropped down to just a couple hundred dollars a month, so it isn't that bad."

"That's good. There for a moment I thought maybe you were just using me for my money," she said with a smile and a wink.

"My sugar momma," Elliot joked as he kissed her.

"Now all we have to do is break the news to everyone at work," Olivia said nervously.


End file.
